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A Willing Paralysis

by Toska Hill

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1.
Wailing, bottom feeding with the scum and grief Deep down in rankest depths, moulding comfort with mothered misery Repugnant shrieks like blunt force blessings Rejoicing fist through clenching teeth Excreted into ouroboric doldrum (again and again) Turmoiled passing of fevered fantasy and dream A mind of fraying mantras and severed hands Synaptic canyon gloom claws at glacial pace Ceaseless aching and heaving, as if it’s the way it’s meant to be Amalgamation of anxieties that swirl beneath the breast A hardening of the artery leaking from the hollow in my chest A willing circler of the drain Breathing black and losing bearings The nihilist of starving dreams Writhing in the joy of sorrow This is all there is for me Is this all there is for me?
2.
Awaken! Through the numbing stare of self-revulsion Lungs shriek beneath well-worn contusion Refractions in the sludge beleague Help me absolve this sickening revelation Of profound loss in the descent In my descent With hand on bloodied brick, I breathe Through the foetid guilt and toxic grief Retching with anxiety, begging to believe Terrored ascent of shedding self Or nurtured misery My precious misery A flaying of fraying mantras Wrenching bone and reflection Seizing and wretched Frenzied and freeing Hating myself hating myself Rending myself Rending myself for reprieve To strip myself from myself To purge myself from myself Flaying to be reborn Bloodied but still alive Flaying to be reborn I’m still alive

credits

released January 16, 2024

Jeremy Suckling - Drums
Joe Bonnett - Guitars, Keyboards
Ben Read - Vocals
George Prowse - Bass

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Toska Hill Auckland, New Zealand

An eclectic and bleak soundscape of oppressive extreme metal, stygian atmosphere and melancholic overtones.

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